Do Epic Shit

You Can Say No Without Being an Asshole: Protecting Your Time and Sanity

• Colleen Basinski & Kimberly Neill • Season 1 • Episode 3

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Setting boundaries and protecting your time are essential skills for navigating the rollercoaster of entrepreneurship while maintaining balance and sanity.

• Every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else—often your goals or family time
• Planning your year in advance allows you to make strategic decisions about how to use your time
• Don't tell someone no without giving them options of yes
• People don't remember what you did—they remember how you made them feel
• Success in business comes with inevitable highs and lows that require resilience
• The people you surround yourself with significantly impact your ability to handle challenges
• Imposter syndrome can be managed by "borrowing belief" from your supportive circle
• Schedule regular vacations and downtime to recharge and prevent burnout
• Setting expectations early helps both you and your clients navigate the relationship effectively
• If you don't have people who lift you up, find new people

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💡 Lessons we’ve learned about balancing it all—sometimes successfully, sometimes… not.

If you’re out here trying to do EPIC SH*T, this one’s for YOU. Hit play, tag a friend, and let’s do this thing together! 👇

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🎙️ Hosted by: Colleen Basinski & Kimberly Neill

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Speaker 1:

You gotta set boundaries without feeling like an asshole. Here we are. Welcome to week three of Do.

Speaker 2:

Epic.

Speaker 1:

Shit. I'm Colleen Basinski, I'm Kim Neal and we are here to talk about protecting your time and navigating the highs and lows of entrepreneurship.

Speaker 2:

I like this one. This is going to be a good one. Before we go any further, thank you everybody for downloading, listening, following. We've had some pretty good feedback, huh.

Speaker 1:

It's been great. Of course, there's always going to be haters, you bet that's how you know you're on the right track. If you have haters, then you know you're doing something good. But there have been a lot of love too, and so we thank you for the love.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. Thank you so much. Yeah, that's awesome, positive.

Speaker 1:

You want to jump right in? Yeah, let's do it, let's go so. Ever feel overwhelmed, always Right, stressed out, stretched thin Absolutely, or caught in the emotional roller coaster of entrepreneurship.

Speaker 2:

That's a big one. That is a. That is a big one and I think, especially if you have children and family, and it can be overwhelming and stressed I spend a lot of hours a day stressed.

Speaker 1:

Well, and I think, even just the starting of something and not knowing if it's going to succeed and where it's going. And you know they have this saying that when you're in business for yourself, whether it's in sales or just your own business every day you wake up unemployed.

Speaker 2:

That is the true.

Speaker 1:

Because you have to go out and win the business and earn the business every single day.

Speaker 2:

And I think if you don't, I know for us if you don't sustain a certain level of business, that becomes stressful, overwhelming, anxiety we're going to talk about that and how we handle that and how we navigate that and deal with it.

Speaker 1:

So we're going to tackle about that and how we handle that and how we navigate that and deal with it. So we're going to tackle two major challenges this week Mastering the art of saying no, stop, and managing the highs and lows of business life. So we're going to talk about some of the strategies we use for protecting our time, managing our time, what that looks like. I'll give you some tidbits that I've used that work for me. You can share what works for you, kim, and you do a pretty good job, because not only do you run a successful business, but you also go away, you enjoy, you have a place down in Florida, you're down there. So I mean, you do a good job of managing that. Yeah, I think I'm proud of you.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, and you know what I almost feel like that is the reward Managing for keeping things together, for doing well, doing the right thing.

Speaker 1:

Then I can take that few days and, you know, hide for a couple. So, yeah, get a little vitamin D, absolutely. So we're also going to talk about how to set boundaries without guilt and staying grounded through wins and setbacks, because for every high there's an equal low, I think.

Speaker 2:

Somewhere.

Speaker 1:

They show up. They show up for sure.

Speaker 2:

Whether it's your personal life or it's business, they show up.

Speaker 1:

So don't forget to subscribe. We're on Spotify, amazon, apple yeah, we're on Apple now, finally. Took us a little bit, but we're there Exciting. Have you ever regretted saying yes to something All the time?

Speaker 2:

So I feel like my personal life conflicts with my business Not conflicts but so I'm social, you know that, very social, and I always want to make time for everybody. You know, I will say yes to things that I really maybe shouldn't have. Like, hey, kim, do you want to go, just using this, you know, hey know, hey, kim, will you go with me, you know, to the store up north and then go to my attorneys and then when really it's no I have to work, no I have dinner to cook at home.

Speaker 2:

It's no, ash went no, but I will say yes because I don't want to disappoint. So what happens is I'm getting up at the ass crack of dawn to go run out to the store with somebody. What I should have just said no. Let me just say this I'm happy to do so, but really it's not protecting and it's not.

Speaker 1:

But I also think that's why so many people choose to work with you, because they know that they can depend on you.

Speaker 2:

That is true, I do feel like that too, and they will call. And again, I'm happy to do so, but it really does. You said it earlier. Do you ever feel stretched so thin? And I do a lot of the times.

Speaker 1:

So why do we feel guilty saying no?

Speaker 2:

I don't know. I think for me it's who I am. I hate to say no, I'm a yes person.

Speaker 1:

Well, I think it goes even deeper than that. I think, as moms and wives and women in general, and sorry guys like you know, maybe we'll say a few things that'll offend you, apologize now Sorry, not really Sorry, that's all right, but I think that you know we're raised from a very young age to taught to be like obedient and to be like a good.

Speaker 1:

To be a good wife and mother means like you're serving and you're taking care of and and you can't say no unless it's like something harmful. Right, like don't touch the stove, but like if your kids want something, if it's not bad for them, or your husband needs something, or so I think we carry that over into our business with our clients, right for sure yeah so you know, I've heard this saying and this is what helps me anyway that like so what do you do to learn to say no, yeah, what do you do for me?

Speaker 1:

I always go back to the saying. It's, every time you say yes to something, saying no to something else and that something else is usually your goals, your dreams, time with your kids, whatever now.

Speaker 1:

last week, we talked a lot about how you do have to make sacrifices, like, don't get me wrong, you can't just say no to everything and then only do the things you want to do, because this business, in order to build it, you're going to have to do stuff, and I also believe, though, that it's learning to manage all those things and deciding which things you're going to have to say no to.

Speaker 2:

Sure, it's a decision you make every day, when?

Speaker 1:

you wake up. Can I share a time hack or something that I've used? Not necessarily a time time hack, but one of the things that I do and I've shown this to you before, I think you're going to know what I'm talking about is I actually print out at the beginning of the year. I've done this for about six years now. I have a calendar and it's this ratty, old, tattered piece of paper and it's like wincalendarcom. It has like an excel version, a word version, but I print it out in all the boxes and I can have the whole year in front of me and I sit there and I lay out the things that are the most important so that I can say no to something that conflicts to one of those most. Now I don't schedule my whole day. There are people out there that time block every minute of every day and I think they're obnoxious.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, me too, I can't.

Speaker 1:

Like life doesn't work that way. Life is all about managing. Now I don't run around putting out fires all day either, like I'm not just reacting to things. We have things that we schedule. But I lay out the whole calendar. So the first thing I do and I have to look at it in a year it's a year format, it can't be like 12 months. So I think there's like three or four months on a page and it's either three or four pieces of paper page and it's either three or four pieces of paper and I lay them all right next to each other and I fill in vacations, julian's spring break and Christmas break and Thanksgiving break, so times that I'm going to be gone when we have classes or conventions.

Speaker 1:

Like you know. Sure, we have our annual convention in the fall. This year I think it's November. I put all of those things out and then I look from there, I go in, I say, okay, my goals, what do my goals say I need to do so this year? 30 open houses, so which 30 weekends approximately? I make sure that there's enough in there and I kind of go backwards and backfill and then I can look at the week and say, okay, what's on my annual planner. That's a non negotiable and I go backwards, so I'm looking at the whole year first that's a great idea, lines with it.

Speaker 1:

And for me, since I started doing that, I have sighed a much bigger breath of relief because I know like, hey, I'm not even like a hair appointment or a doctor's appointment. Like yesterday I went and got my hair done and, you know, you got to get your next appointment. She's like, well, we want to book your next one. I'm like okay, cause it takes like five weeks to get in there. I don't know why. Why is it? It's like getting into a doctor, right? Kristen's laughing because we go to the same salon.

Speaker 1:

So I do have the same girl, no different girl, same salon. But I'm like, hold on, let me pull out my annual calendar and I literally had to look at it like what? And I put all Julian's days off on there, like what days he's off school so that I can be home with him and then I can schedule around that and like when clients want something, I'm like, oh well, I have open house this day, so I can do that day. And I usually try not to do open house both days each weekend, like I'm not doing.

Speaker 1:

Saturday and Sunday. I leave one day open for clients that are available for showings and, like you know, like you said, you're scheduling showing sometimes in the morning before and then after. So that's one of my tools, I guess.

Speaker 2:

It's actually a great idea Lay it out, fill it in Backwards.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, start with the end in mind, right, like look at the big picture and then kind of drill it down from there. It's been a game changer for me. I should try that. I'm going to make you do that next, that's really on my.

Speaker 2:

Actually, it's a great idea. Here it is.

Speaker 1:

It's a good know. What do I have in June? What do I have in October?

Speaker 2:

you, know what's in there right now.

Speaker 1:

In July, rock yep got it all planned in, like it's all penciled in. So someone asked me if I'm doing something. That nope, sorry, yeah, and it helps for me, for with my clients too, for your business, because if I know that like there's a listing coming up or something coming up like, I can guide them around it so that I'm managing the right expectations for them, so they're not like oh well, we need to go on the market this day. I already know that like I've got this thing coming up in three weeks or whatever, because I've planned out my whole year and I'm getting closer to it that I can tell them okay, let's get on the market this day or we're going.

Speaker 1:

We know our pre-listing process takes longer than you know. We don't just throw something in the MLS and list it. Like we have a process that we plan out. It takes us seven to 10 days to prep something before it goes live. So we have like so I'm not going to plan for something to go live while I'm in South Dakota, right, and that's come from a lot of mistakes that I've made over the years.

Speaker 2:

I feel like the more we're in it, the more you know. As time goes by, you do learn to juggle and manage things a little bit better and drill down to. You know setting a schedule, although yours is really drilled. Your book is huge.

Speaker 1:

You know, I just like to have something to touch and hold on to, and I'm a techie person, so you would think like, oh, you've got it all. Look at it and I like to feel the paper. I know your book is humongous, it's fancy, it is pretty $39.99 on Amazon empty, by the way so we talked about scheduling it out, but give me some examples of where you've learned to not be such a people pleaser and how that's helped or killed your business you know what?

Speaker 2:

to be honest, I was thinking about this not too long ago, literally probably the past year to two years, and I'm like, no, not going to happen, I'm going. This I never wanted, which ran me ragged for many years. I wanted to please my clients, get everything done, spend. You know I have a lot of group of friends like high school work, you know, kids, parents, friends, things like that. So I would spend. You know I have a lot of group of friends like high school work, you know, kids, parents, friends, things like that. So I would spend, you know, five days hanging with this one, going here doing this, doing this, and then I would be exhausted at the end of the week. Not about the past year. So I'm like, no, next week I'll see you, following week I'll see you. Clients, I'm the same way. Here's the days I'm available Monday, tuesday, friday, from four to eight. The other clients, because I work with several clients in a week, probably at least four. Oh, easily, you probably have more than that.

Speaker 1:

If more than yeah, you're probably juggling 10 to 15 clients, at least Active clients, like you've got a lot of people in your database, but active people at least oh, some.

Speaker 2:

And and if I just say, oh yeah, we'll go, they'd have me running from nine in the morning till nine o'clock at night, and timbuktu to yeah from indiana up to you know, schaumburg. So I literally that I do schedule out. I open up my calendar, then I schedule. You know Monday is going to be client. A Wednesday client B.

Speaker 1:

So what does that conversation look like with them? So like, how do you have that conversation? I think people, there's a lot of people that would like to know how to do it, because they're afraid to have the conversation they are.

Speaker 2:

And I was too for many years. So if they say, hey, kim, like clients in general have a tendency just to text me 10 houses, which is great, I'm good with that and I'll say before I even respond back to somebody, I open my calendar and I say, hey, okay, I have, you know, my son's baseball game today. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Oh, this is client. I have Wednesday at four available or Thursday at two, and I let them choose. Well, now, don't get me wrong. Some may say, hey, I can't, I can only do a Friday. Okay, then Friday it is and I just go from there.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think it's okay to juggle things around and shift, like if I have someone that's only available a certain time, I'll move them to that time, but then I make sure I block out the other time for me time or for kids time or whatever.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it is a juggling act, but you know what I was thinking about it the other day. I literally went from two or three in a row and I got home and I thought, well, I had a great day, I had a productive, good day, so you feel good at the end day. So you feel good at the end Like everything is organized. I checked everything, and I'm still old school too. I literally will write things down on a little piece of paper this I've got nine things that I have to do today, and I just check them off as I go. So that's super important too.

Speaker 1:

One of the things that also I've learned over the years is this saying it's how you can tell people no easier is without them getting angry or upset or feeling like you know because how they feel is just important. So I think did.

Speaker 2:

I answer your question you absolutely did.

Speaker 1:

You did a great job you are fabulous, wait a minute. Did I? How did I tell them no, don't give them a choice.

Speaker 1:

There's just a couple of things running around in my mind and you know me, I'm like all over the place. I have to spit them out right. One of the things is people don't remember what you did. They remember how you made them feel. So it's all about how you say no and what you do, and so one of the things that I was taught early on was don't tell someone no without giving them an option of yes. So like no, I can't do this, but I can do this or this, which one is better for you? So you, you don't just tell people no, you give them other alternatives.

Speaker 1:

Like you know, I remember we were told oh, you can't, you know, come in and talk to me during these times. I wouldn't say you can't talk to me these times. I would say here's the times I'm available if you need me. So I just texted a client earlier, or a new client, and I was like what day next? Because I book through the weekend, like today, through the next couple of days. So I said, well, what day next week can we meet? Because you want your home to go, you want to move in the summer. So if you want to move in the summer. We're probably going to need to get it up the beginning of April. So what day next week would be best for us to meet and talk about the values so I can come look at it? So I'm like planning that out and setting those expectations, because people don't always think about that. So setting those out there.

Speaker 2:

I think that's something you just said. It's expectations. You're setting your expectation and I think that's they weren't mistake. But before it's like oh okay, you want to go here, I'm going to run out, you want to go there, I'm going to run out, you want me to come at this time, okay.

Speaker 1:

Well, because we're afraid. So I think that's the other thing is too when you don't have enough business, you'll say yes to everything because you're so afraid. Bingo. So it's learning how to own your value and then also work hard for your business so that you have enough business that you can say no to something that's maybe not safe. Sure, like, where are we going we were talking about that earlier too like where we're going to show properties, and is it? You know, vacant houses, you know abandoned, run down houses?

Speaker 2:

in the neighborhood that has run down abandoned houses. Right, I was in some things just this week. Yeah, me too, and I was like whoa wow.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean your safety has to come first. So I think those are all important things to look at. And when you're saying no, people understand how you made them feel. So it's about how you make them feel, when you do it, a lot of truth to that.

Speaker 1:

How to set boundaries without feeling like an asshole. What's one boundary you've set that's made a huge difference. And how do you set boundaries with friends and family who don't respect your work time? Because I think when you're self-employed, this is a big one, guys. Like when you're self-employed or you have your own business, people think and even before, even when I wasn't in the sales side of it, like when I was in, like running offices and stuff people were like, well, you run the office, you can just. You know you don't have to be there, you can go do whatever you want. Running the office means you still have to run the office Like it doesn't run itself. You know you're not selling anything if you're not out showing houses or listing properties. So, like a lot of times people think that we're just, you know we can go anywhere anytime and you know it's not a real job. So how do you deal with that piece of it?

Speaker 2:

You know it's taken me a while.

Speaker 1:

We both have a lot of years of learning this so that hopefully our listeners can fast forward through all the shit that we did wrong.

Speaker 2:

God, there are a lot of things. I mean, I did a lot of good things in the beginning, you did great, and a lot of things that I was like, oh, I won't do that again.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, what was the question when the family and friends don't respect your time because it's not a real job, so you can just run and do whatever.

Speaker 2:

I had a lot of that, Colleen.

Speaker 1:

So how did you change their mindset or deal with that? Or did you just tell them screw you?

Speaker 2:

No, I think at the beginning I really I didn't tell people. Does that make sense? Like I didn't tell people that I had to work or I didn't tell. I think I just kind of ghosted for a while. I'm stammering for words for once in my life. It's unusual, kim. I know it's because you know what I was thinking about this the other day and I was such an incognito person back then or when I started that I didn't want to tell anybody for fear of failing.

Speaker 1:

Wouldn't that make it even worse, because then they think you're just available 24-7. Yeah, I mean. So what did you tell them you were doing? Going to the beach?

Speaker 2:

I think a lot of it was blamed on the kids back then, Like, oh, I have this one or I'm doing this with this. Yeah, a lot of it. I didn't tell a lot of people.

Speaker 1:

So you know what I'm hearing? You say it's none of their damn business. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

That's what I'm hearing you say. Actually, I have a family member that comes to mind that I was like you know, go ahead, fuck you, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not telling you anything. Yeah, I'm not telling you anything. And I guess this leads into something else. Everybody was waiting for me to fail, so I kept it very quiet what I was doing. I would just go and do things, spend money on my business, and not tell my husband or anybody, because even he was. We talked about this on the very first podcast that they're like just quit that fucking bullshit, get the fuck out of there. And I used to to be like, but I really want to do it and I think I could do it. Maybe I can and maybe I can't, and you know, I something in me said just fucking do it, do you want?

Speaker 1:

to hear my favorite line yeah, I'm sorry, I already have an appointment. Then it's none of our damn business what your appointment is if it's an appointment with your kids, if it's an appointment to get your hair done, if it's an appointment to get your hair done, if it's an appointment to get your nails done. Yesterday I was getting my hair done. I had a client that wanted to see a property. My hair appointment was at 1.30.

Speaker 2:

So how did you do you feel?

Speaker 1:

guilty. Not at all I used to, and so I think that's another lesson for all of us. You got to just get over it. Let go of the freaking guilt. Get over it. It took me a lot of years, but you know what? It's none of their damn business I. I can do that today today we can.

Speaker 2:

Today I can do that. I can't say honestly that I was that even three years ago and I think you said it earlier too. It comes from hanging around with me a lot, well that that is true um, but I also think too. You said something again here that was like oh, if you have enough business where you're not coming from scarcity, it allows you to be able to pick and choose and do and say okay if that person gets mad and goes somewhere else. If they can't understand, I have an appointment.

Speaker 1:

Well, and I think there's a difference. I think what you're saying is that there's a difference between, like, setting proper expectations and taking giving your clients good customer service and being taken advantage of, and I think, as long as you know in your heart you're giving good service and you're providing the service that they need, you don't have to allow yourself to be taken advantage of and you can say no, true, and so when you have enough business, it's okay to do that. Now, just because you don't have enough business does not mean you should allow yourself to be taken advantage of either, though, because that's where the highs and lows and it's kind of perfect segue into. The next topic that we wanted to talk about is like managing the highs and lows of the business. You said this earlier.

Speaker 1:

You start at the beginning, and I was thinking this too. I was on vacation for the first couple weeks of the year, so then my year started off behind. Now I granted I had a bunch of stuff under contract because I worked through the end of last year, so I had that going, but I still and you said this too I get that anxiety Like, if I'm not, I didn't put I didn't put a deal together this week, like I didn't sell anything this week Shit.

Speaker 1:

I better get to work and so, like two weeks off vacation the beginning of the year, it had me feeling guilty, Like it had me. That's the high and low of it. All Right and so, but when I am here, I work, I'm not like, hey, I'm going to go do, yeah, I have to get my hairs done and my, my hairs.

Speaker 2:

I have more than one hair.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I have to get my hair done, I have to get my nails done, like I have to take care of myself so that I can present myself professionally and be out there, but at the same time, I'm not like every single day, I'm not getting a massage this day and do it Like I work when I have to work so that I can enjoy what I have to enjoy Me too.

Speaker 1:

Yep, I know you do, but I see and I've mentioned this a couple times already I see a lot of people that think that they're getting into business so that they can have complete freedom and that they want to work four hours a week and have a multi-million dollar business. It don't work like that, honey. So you work when you have to work so that you can say no when you want to say no, so you can be on the trip or you can be at the things for the kids. And I see you do that. Sometimes you just do stuff and you don't even know what you're doing. So I'm here to tell you what you're doing so that I can celebrate you. Thank you, Because you don't celebrate yourself enough.

Speaker 2:

You know you were just saying something about you work and you work hard so you can enjoy and you can do those things when you are doing them. You know, like I feel like we do work super, super hard, but when we do go we do enjoy. I didn't really do a lot of that prior.

Speaker 1:

it was always working, going and then working what's been your biggest high in your biggest low in your business?

Speaker 2:

honestly, the biggest high is personal. It's business and personal. It was. Client had called me, I went on the listing appointment and I ended up purchasing that home. It was just out of the blue and it was a great business decision and that was really the highest.

Speaker 1:

You like, celebrating those investor wins, I do.

Speaker 2:

That's a good one for you, I know it really was. I walked out of there like that was a good day, that was a good deal.

Speaker 1:

All right. What about the opposite? Biggest low in your business.

Speaker 2:

I had a couple.

Speaker 1:

Come on, tell the story. People want to hear the haters want to hear.

Speaker 2:

Well, I'll tell you, I've been on my ass a couple times. You know you're riding high, you're selling, you're selling. And then I crashed. I left a brokerage that I was super comfortable at. This is just one. I thought I was the I really did. When I was leaving thought, ah, you got this. I thought you were the shit.

Speaker 1:

I did think I was the shit, I knew what you were going to say.

Speaker 2:

Left that brokerage and fell on my ass the following year and it was. It was devastating to me. Not that I was starving I don't want people. I wasn't homeless Thank goodness I wasn't destitute but things got really rocky. My marriage at the time my house, wasn't the most smoothest place that you'd want to be. I didn't have the money that I was used to making and there was time for a change. I had to dig deep inside of me. What's going on? What am I doing? What am I not doing? What can I do better?

Speaker 1:

Was there a conversation you had with someone, or was there something you read, or something Like what? What caused you? Because you said you had to dig deep. But how do you even know that that's what you needed to do?

Speaker 2:

My life just wasn't working. This was not working. I was miserable every day, and this has nothing to do with money, it's all an emotional. It's emotional. I just, you know, I would wake up every day in a funk, just a funk. I didn't have any accountability to anybody and that's, I feel like in sales, whatever sales, car sales, whatever sales you have to be accountable to you because you're in sales, and if you don't have accountability somewhere, you just go off. You're playing in the wild, wild west. So, getting back to that, I'd wake up in a funk. I didn't feel good, I was miserable, I was screaming at everybody. I mean, if you said the wrong thing to me, I was going off.

Speaker 1:

How'd you get back on track?

Speaker 2:

Yeah Well, I needed to revamp everything. Get back on track. Yeah Well, I needed to revamp everything, and meaning I had to it goes back to the circle. I had to find a circle again where it fits. You say circle, you mean like the people you surround yourself with, the people I surround, a brokerage that was vibrant, that had good vibes, that was up and coming. I needed something different.

Speaker 1:

I agree with you. I think that.

Speaker 2:

I was dying.

Speaker 1:

When we talk about those highs and lows who you surround yourself with absolutely matters If you don't have good people around you, like so I can have a really bad day and I can pick up the phone or I can even just look at my text messages from Kristen and Kim, because we have our own little text group and I and there's a meme in there and it immediately puts a smile on my face like the people that you surround yourself with, those who feed you the laughter and the joy, and they can help lift you back up so it's so important and that's why you know it's um, it's kind of disheartening when, when I see that people don't come in and they don't engage you know, know, in the office.

Speaker 2:

It is so disheartening because it's such a good vibe and it makes you push harder, makes you go harder, makes you hey, colleen's got four deals under contract, mike has three, I'm getting five.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it feels good to be around people like. Energy begets other energy.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, and I can't even stress how important that is. It's nice to see people coming in. It's nice to be in a group. It does help you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that's really important. For the highs and lows I think there were a couple of them, obviously opening my own brokerages. When I launched my own brokerages, those were incredible highs, but I think those also were some of my most incredible low moment because, you know, we had some. We got into business with some people that we probably shouldn't have gotten into business with. So that goes back to the circle again. So, like here, there's a common thread and a theme here, right, who you get into business with matters, even if it's not like physical business, it's like ancillary, like just being around those people, and who you work with. But we physically got into business with some people who are not nice people, who did not have our back, and in hindsight I can see that.

Speaker 1:

But at the time I was so I put wanted, wanted it so bad that I probably overlooked some red flags that I should not have. So, like, if you feel those red flags, listen to them, or just ask me and Bart. Yeah, you guys are, I are.

Speaker 1:

I'm like no, they're okay, we have a new ball though there are some people who have said and did some really nasty, horrible stuff to me. I know I can tell you that, um, you know they tried to have our bank accounts frozen, they tried to shut our businesses down. I mean, they did successfully shut some down, but that's also how I know I can make it, because if you make it through those and you can come back every time and I think that's what pushes me through the highs and lows of it, like losing a sale, big deal, I lost a whole freaking company. You did Right. But also I think it goes back even further.

Speaker 1:

I talked, talked about earlier I don't want to like to be homeless. Like you said, you didn't lose your house or anything, right, and and I didn't like I would like. I said I wasn't living in a cardboard box, right. But I know that. I think we talk about confidence and believing in yourself. I know, once you've hit a bottom, that, like, you're still going to have the ability to rebuild it again. If you've done it before, if you've done it once, you can do it again. That's the thing. If you had to put a deal together, you found a client, you go find another one, like it's not the end of the world. And so I think, when you put that into perspective and you remind yourself of that, and then you surround yourself with people who can make you laugh to get through to that next conversation, that helps manage those highs and lows, and I remember that saying?

Speaker 2:

what was that saying? That said you could or fall down or take a minute to cry, but then the other 60 or the other 59 minutes you have to get back up, or something like that.

Speaker 1:

You used to say I can't remember something like you know, you can cry about it for a minute or five minutes. Take your five minutes Take your five minutes cry over it and then put your I didn't say this, but this time I say it. Now put your big girl pants on and get over it and get going.

Speaker 2:

I mean, there's so much truth to that.

Speaker 1:

Too many people count on you in this world. Even if you're your own business person and you don't have a husband or a wife or kids or anything like, your family still counts on you, to love on you and for you to be there. In today's day and age with so many mental health issues and suicide and everything else, just remember you matter and you can put your big girl pants on and you can get back out there, because nothing is the end of life in business. It's just business.

Speaker 1:

You're not dying, it's okay, you can rebuild it, you can go again, you can find another client, heck, even if you lose your business or your house, you could build another one or get another one. It's going to be okay.

Speaker 2:

I had a friend way way back in the day and her husband was a builder and remember 08, 09, everything crashed. And she had said to me one time and we're talking back, you know $500,000, house back then, boats, cars. And she literally said to me you know what, kim, if I lost all this, as long as I have my family, kids, my husband, I don't care if we live in a cardboard, cardboard box. This, this means nothing. And from that point on I thought, if she could sit like wow, like that, and that is what, what matters well, and don't get me wrong, it's nice to have nice stuff I like nice stuff me too.

Speaker 1:

I like on trips. I like seeing tropical islands and palm trees and the ocean, but I also know that you know what things come and go and who you're around. The people around you are what matters the most and as long as I have strength in my body, I will do whatever it takes to keep pushing and keep working so let me ask you this getting a little bit, what makes you?

Speaker 2:

where do you get that from? Oh, now you're hitting me with the hard questions right, it's because you talk about that and we talk about being knocked down, getting where do you get?

Speaker 1:

and and I've, I've watched it's been a couple times well, I will tell you, I pull on strength from the others around me for sure, because I know we've had a lot of ups and downs with this whole business thing where we, you know, and there was a period of time where, like I wasn't eating, I was physically sick because it was so stressful, and Bart can attest to that. Or we'd get some food and I would take a couple bites of food and I'm like I can't eat, and he was like you haven't eaten in two days, colleen, you need to eat. And I wasn't losing weight. That would have been nice, I wasn't eating and I still wasn't losing weight.

Speaker 1:

So, lies, lies, lies. I physically couldn't eat, I wasn't sleeping, I was up all night like just worrying and stressed and you know about everything. And it was the people around me that I pulled on their strength and I will say I also started going to church. That made a difference. So if you have God in your life, whatever God you believe in, right, my God, that makes a difference for you. So church was very helpful for me. But I think, knowing that you can't, you can do it all yourself, but you can't do it all yourself, I agree. So I know that sounds like well, you're saying opposite things, colleen, but knowing that I can continue to work, but I also have to have faith in people around me.

Speaker 1:

I give you Baldo a shout out. He's probably going to be like oh, you talked about me again and not on the tech side of things. He witnessed a lot of the shit that went down when this was happening and he encouraged me and he was like you're going to be OK and he was there for me, right, and obviously Bart was like I, I think of the things that that man has been through my side in and like having having a good partner in life is important. I mean, not everybody has one. So I know I'm blessed, absolutely. And you know what we always like to tease that we both got it wrong the first time but got it right the second time right because we were both married before. I think that makes a difference. But also just having some tenacity and some determination, and like I'm the kind of person that you say well, you told me, I can't do it, I'll show you, I'll show you.

Speaker 1:

I remember one of the first opportunities I got to run a company or a business where someone hired me in. There was a gentleman who had come and he gave a presentation. He talked about what he had built and what he had done, and I said he can do it, I can do it too. And so I was like well, I'm going to do what he did. There you go. Well, right, that's how.

Speaker 2:

I started my business. People have done it before us.

Speaker 1:

We should be able to like, obviously, if you learn the things and you do the things. I think that's the. You have to be willing to work. I never shied away from hard work Me neither I'm not afraid? To Me neither, and if you fall down and scrape your knees, you get back up. I mean, you learn how to ride a bike right? You didn't get on there and just start doing it. You had to figure it out.

Speaker 1:

You had to fall a few times few times and I think, if you break things down into analogies like that, you're like okay, well, if I could do this, then I can do that, and if I could do that, then I can do that.

Speaker 2:

So are you saying there's a lot of self talk, there's a lot of reassuring yourself. Well, I mean, yeah, because I feel like everything with the exception of us there was a lot of I had I'm going to do this. I'm that, if they can do it, I can do it. They can do it, I can do it. Um, I feel like there was a lot of self motivation yeah, I think they say you can't motivate someone.

Speaker 1:

This is what I've heard in like a lot of the business and leadership classes that you can't motivate other people. All you can do is hold up a mirror so they can see the things that motivate them. I think that's part of it. Like you can shine a light on what's in them. But you can't and we say this all the time, I can't want it for them more than they want it for themselves but you can also help them see how the path is possible, and I think that's important.

Speaker 2:

I think that's really important. I can look back and say that that probably for me was huge, just somebody holding that mirror up.

Speaker 1:

And I think I've been blessed with this ability to chunk things down, to break it down into those pathway pieces. So the people that at least, have been around me, I like to try and do that for them. Like here, let me chunk this down and show you how you can do this too. You can do this, like you just do this and you do this and you do this, and but when it gets hard, you can't give up, you gotta? Well, we did vision boards, so that's another way Like vision boards, I think, are a great tool to manage the highs and lows because you remember why you started.

Speaker 1:

They talk about, like finding your why and finding what's important and remembering why you did this in the first place.

Speaker 2:

There's so much power in a vision board. I never thought I used to think they were funny. Remember when we used to do all those little classes and we'd cut out the magazines and stick them up? I mean literally. We did that for years. I can remember all of my stuff on it. When I first came into the business, I had a big one hung it on my wall. Do you know that 2018-19, I had achieved every single thing on that vision board and you'd say, well, why didn't you do that any other time? I just did it for the first time again when we just did them.

Speaker 1:

That's because you surrounded yourself with people who forced you to do it.

Speaker 2:

But that goes back to the circle right.

Speaker 1:

It is so true. And as a national company or a big company, they're not forcing us to do this, so you can be as a national company or a big company, they're not like forcing us to do this so you can be part of a company or a brokerage, but it's that inner circle that you have that means just as much, right, very much so, or even more so, very much, because I mean, I've been at other companies me too companies and I've been at some companies and I'm like you know, yeah, but that inner circle, those people that you surround yourself with, so I think we have fame throughout today.

Speaker 1:

It's who you surround yourself with matters, it does matter. And not just from a do they make a lot of money perspective, but from a like are they willing to give me some of their strength when I need it?

Speaker 1:

And am I willing to do the same for that, like when I see someone in my circle that just needs a shoulder to cry on, I'm going to be that shoulder to cry on, but I'm also going to give them the kick in the ass that they need to get back on the horse. Like you know what, I know that you're capable of more than this, and I'm willing to have that tough conversation with them because I love the people that I'm around, that are in my circle Yep, and we need that.

Speaker 2:

We all need that. Yeah, sometimes you need to be smacked upside the head literally, but it's a wake up call, Figuratively sure, Well and I think once when, if you're comfortable and close enough with that person to say hey, you know what's going on with you, things don't seem, you seem off, you're not on track.

Speaker 1:

You are definitely on this week, just so you know like you say when you say yeah, last week you were off, I was, but you had a ruckin' out last week were off.

Speaker 2:

I was, but you had a ruckin out last week. I did. I was jacked up, yeah, for a while.

Speaker 1:

But you see how physical things manifest into your business and everything else like you're on it this week. So good energy, yeah, good energy. Isn't there a song like that?

Speaker 2:

good energy I'm telling you yeah, it was any business owner, anything. We always have highs and lows always.

Speaker 1:

I have a couple notes in here that one of the other things is discipline, like how disciplined are you?

Speaker 2:

Here's the thing People think real estate, make your own schedule, work when you want to work. Anybody who makes, anybody who's in this business and really in the business, knows that it's the complete opposite, complete opposite. I work, you work, you work. Kristen, we all work when the norm is off, if you have a job, your corporate world nine to five, I work from five to eight. When you get off On the weekend, when you're off, I work, I just think we again. Saturdays, I literally work since January from 9 in the morning till 6 o'clock, and every weekend, every Saturday, every Sunday. So when I get drunk got to be a Thursday, got to go out on a Thursday we do go out on a lot of Thursdays.

Speaker 1:

I know it tends to be a day for us. It is, I like Thursdays. Yeah, it's still vibing enough out there, you know, still happening.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

Speaking of vibing, you had a good tuesday. We had a good lunch with someone and I got three new clients, four new clients out of it multiple pieces of business and a bunch of drinks, yeah, and a bunch of drinks.

Speaker 1:

We had fun, we had a good day, but then, you know, I'm busting my butt all weekend long. So it's okay like I can take a tuesday off because I'm working. I don't have to work six days a week, but I do work. See that? See, that's the thing, though, so it's really easy. So I have Mr Bad Influence in my life too. He's like oh, let's go to breakfast, let's go do this. I'm like no, I have to go to work. So I think, like all the way back to the beginning of saying no, like full coming, full circle, I just tell people I'm working, I have to work, I'm going to work.

Speaker 2:

I can remember back in the day, even when you weren't in the field selling, when you had the offices or even just the one. I remember you saying no a lot. I think you said no more than you know, like more you did. I mean we didn't see you at a lot of functions or a lot of our networking things back then.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, you have to. You have to make those choices. But that goes back to also what we talked about a few weeks ago, which is, you know, setting your non-negotiables, knowing what's negotiable, and what's not, so we talked about that before.

Speaker 1:

I also wrote in my notes about finding joy in the process and not just the results, so I think that's important. I enjoy what I do, even though, like Kristen and I didn't open house this weekend, this past weekend, like we had fun. We're goofing around like we're working, but we are actually enjoying our time together there. We're like goofing around. We had conversations.

Speaker 2:

I love our group. Right, I do, I love it, I like to work, I like what we do. I mean, I don't think you could do it if you didn't.

Speaker 1:

I think I've also learned to not take myself so seriously. Yeah, because I had a tendency to be a real uptight, serious person Very much.

Speaker 2:

So I agree Kim's like yeah, you were. You were Colleen Yep Wound tight.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I was pretty tight. Yeah, no, you have to do it this way, and I've learned not to take myself so seriously. So I think that helps and so that's allowed me to find more joy in the journey. The journey is as important, if not more, than the destination.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we have a good journey. It's been good. I'm super excited for the future, for the year.

Speaker 1:

How do you handle the stress that comes with entrepreneurship?

Speaker 2:

Oh, I drink. No, how I handle it. Well, I really have to take time for myself and I never used to do that before. It's very important for me to, on a day off, to go have my nails done are crazy. Is this sound? And I know you guys say it to me all the time. I enjoy cleaning my house, I know.

Speaker 1:

You are so weird. I never, ever, have to clean a house as long as I live. I'm totally okay with it.

Speaker 2:

I don't enjoy.

Speaker 1:

I like to walk in and have a clean house. I know and I like to do it Because nobody does it good enough for you. No, no.

Speaker 2:

I've seen you like multiple people. You're like now that person sucks. I've had like five cleaning people and they're just yeah anyways. So if I can take a day off, if I know I don't have anything, I can go on the computer for an hour. I like to clean my house. I like to get a massage I do at least a month or every other week with a friend of mine. I just like to go out. I have to for me.

Speaker 1:

I have to have planned vacations and not vacation like yeah, so I always like I can't have nothing planned for the next, and I think maybe I went through a period of time for like six years where I didn't go on vacation for a long time oh, it's terrible.

Speaker 1:

We, yeah, this was before you knew me yeah before you knew me, I had worked at another brokerage and I worked there for three years as a manager and never took any of my vacation time. Ooh, yeah, it was. It was hard, but also you know that was early on, where you know, we had a lot of hospital stays for PJ and my kids because you know we he was being diagnosed with the spectrum and there was a lot of things going on then spectrum and there was a lot of things going on then and so I didn't hadn't learned yet the importance of how I needed that to rejuvenate me in my life and I would rather sacrifice going out and partying like I wouldn't want to go out and drink.

Speaker 1:

I would save that money, not like now in hindsight, to save up to go on a trip somewhere. And here's a funny story. You'll hear a funny story. So my first ever trip to Nashville. How it happened. Do you want to hear how it?

Speaker 2:

happened, I do.

Speaker 1:

So I learned the importance of scheduling vacations and having that downtime and whether I didn't mean I had to fly to a tropical island. But I knew that I needed that time to rejuvenate myself. So it was. The week between Christmas and New Year's is always really slow in the real estate world per se. So I decided, I went online and I researched and I was like I'm going to Florida, I have a car I can drive, so it'll be less expensive. I found the best hotel prices, found like some really inexpensive hotels. I'm like I'm going down there. Bart and the kids and everybody they all said they weren't going. I'm like, well then, I'm going by myself. That sounds like me.

Speaker 1:

no, the kids were teenagers then yeah, like I want to leave my boyfriend and I don't want to I, I. So I remember kyle said you know, good old kyle, you know he's doing what's right for mama. He's like I'll go with you. I'm like, okay, great, kyle and I are going to florida. The rest of you can stay here. I don't really give a crap. Oh, but Bart's like I'm not riding in the car 17 hours if we keep going like I don't care, I want a vacation.

Speaker 1:

I'm gonna have the vacation that I can afford, but that's still gonna rejuvenate me and I've learned, you know. So this is like a lesson in how to like manage these highs and lows. So I'm like, okay, well, I'm going. I don't care if you guys are coming with me, but I am going. So Kyle gets wickedly sick with the flu, like he's throwing up.

Speaker 1:

I'm like okay, I really still want to go. And I wasn't a jerk for leaving a sick kid. He's like 18 years old at the time, 17, 18 or whatever right. So he wasn't. And my mother-in-law was at the house too Because, remember, I said she used to come and stay with us from time to time and I'm like mary, I'm still going. If you kyle bart's here, kyle's here, you know she's like, I got him, I'll take care. You know I'll make sure he's okay. If he's too sick, you know I'll feed him soup and stuff, whatever. So I'm like I'm going two hours before I was getting in the car to leave barcos. You can't go by yourself. I'm going, you can't stop me. I'm a grown-ass woman. Fine, I'll go with you. But we got to stop somewhere halfway because I can't miss football. So we stopped in Nashville. So I changed the whole.

Speaker 1:

Thing the whole plans around. We get to Nashville and this is like the week before Christmas and New Year's and our the week between Christmas and New Year's. We get down there and the whole it. So we got a cheap hotel. I don't know like we ended up at the hilton. I had points, I don't know how it all ended up, but like it's like the whole universe conspires when you figure out you want to be somewhere. I feel like we're just blessed in that. Like that stuff just happens the way it's meant to unfold for us the whole street.

Speaker 1:

Uh, lower broadway is shut down for a street festival. They have bands and music playing in a street fair.

Speaker 1:

The football team was playing at the stadium, so there was like college football and then regular football, so we were able to sit in the bars and watch football and have a good old time and I'm like, okay, so now we'll leave on Monday to go to Florida. He's like I want to leave Because New Year's was happening a couple of days later. So we're like we ended up staying in Nashville the whole time. We never made it Florida. We canceled it. Brett Eldridge, who is a country singer, was playing on the stage in the middle of Broadway like free concert. We celebrated New Year's in the middle of the street and that was my first ever trip to Nashville, so that's why I love Nashville.

Speaker 1:

Like we had the best time and it was the most impromptu, inexpensive, like you can do things. Like it doesn't have to cost a lot of money. Figure out where, and especially now with Airbnb.

Speaker 1:

But that was my first because nobody wanted to go and I like. So again you say how do you? I just decide, and very, very seldom is anyone going to tell me no Once I make my mind up about something yeah, I'm like, I'm going. So he packed his bag, Just Bart, and I went to Nashville. The kids stayed home, nobody wanted to go else with us how perfect was that? It was beautiful. It was a wonderful trip. We had the best time Me too. That's how I go.

Speaker 1:

That was my first trip, I just roll. So there you go, perfect. Well, so I think vacations are like I, so do you have your next vacation planned? I do, I am leaving end of the month.

Speaker 2:

There you go, so having those trips I think helps like kind of keep you going and rejuvenate you. For me at least, that's well. I think the older we get you need that like people ask all the time like, oh my god, you travel alone. I have a house, a home in florida. Yes, I do. My kids don't come, my husband don't. If a friend wants to come, the great. I tag along. Yeah, tag along I the time?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Tag along all the time. I mean everybody's well, Uninvited, I invite myself. I'm like Kim, you need someone to come with you, the more the merrier.

Speaker 2:

But if nobody wants to go, well, you know that.

Speaker 1:

But I think I'm out. So you say we're older, but I'm thinking back to even when I was't want to do something. We used to be in the curmunginy old crab that he is he was even a curmunginy young crab. Alyssa and PJ and I we went on a lot of road trips together and those were my little mini vacations that didn't cost us anything, like we'd go basically to like friends that had a cabin or a house or whatever, or my mom lived out of state.

Speaker 2:

We did it too. We'd travel.

Speaker 1:

I'm like okay, who wants to go on a road trip with me? We? Did it we needed that little mini vacation. So you have to take that time to rejuvenate yourself. And I look back on it, I feel so blessed that I have those memories with my kids too, and you've done it with Donovan.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, just you and Donovan went down and you went fishing. Yeah, what's the name of that?

Speaker 1:

boat that you guys go on.

Speaker 2:

Tampa right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, in Tampa Clearwater, it's a fishing boat right the Bald Eagle, the Bald Eagle, the Bald.

Speaker 2:

Eagle or the Screaming Eagle, Something Screaming Eagle isn't it?

Speaker 1:

I think so, I don't know. But anyway, like all of those things, indiana Beach, schaefer Lake- those are I remember?

Speaker 2:

all those.

Speaker 1:

So no matter where you are, you can find something and it doesn't have to cost a lot of money, like we pack a cooler with sandwiches and gatorades and juice boxes or whatever, and Alyssa and PGI and I would get in the car, hop in the car. Kyle wouldn't want to come, bart wouldn't want to come, we'd like go, we'd take off. We went to Galena and we went to the lake up there and we had great memories.

Speaker 1:

But in you know, when I look back on it now, I'm so, so grateful because you know I don't have Alyssa anymore but, I, have incredible memories of times that we had together and I know that she had a really good time.

Speaker 1:

So, like, when you look back on it, plan those trips. That's how you get it, get through the stress of it all. Okay, one last question before we wrap up, dealing with imposter syndrome. Do you ever have imposter syndrome? Are you familiar with that term? I am not Okay, so I had no idea what this meant and Kyla had to explain it to me. But then once I'm like oh, it's kind of like where you're always feeling like the other shoe is going to drop. People are going to find out that I'm not really as good at this or as great as I pretend to be, or I feel like, or as great as like I pretend to be, or I feel like, but you really are actually. So how do you deal with, like the am I, I'm not good enough the imposter syndrome?

Speaker 2:

For me that's internal. That is so internal because I'm going to get a little vulnerable here, because I mean, people really do, you know, love working with you. You're great, you're this, you're that. And really I go home and I'm like I'm just Kim, I'm just a mom, I'm just no, I'm not. And then you always feel like, well, they think I'm great, but I'm really not that great.

Speaker 1:

So how do you deal with?

Speaker 2:

it. It's hard actually, kind of if you think about it. I mean, I don't know For, kind of if you think about it.

Speaker 1:

I mean it's, I don't know for you. Is it a constant battle in your brain, in your head? I'm gonna give you the answer that I gave to like six other questions the circle, circle around me is what helps me explain more on that, because because I'm always doubting myself. So I come out here and you guys all look at me and you're like, oh, you're so confident, you got it all together. Colleen. Like do you know that I failed public speaking class in high school and three times in college?

Speaker 2:

seriously, seriously they're like wait a minute, colleen, you speak for a living on a daily basis, either one-on-one I would have never known that you coached people all over the world.

Speaker 1:

You've got up in front of on stage in front of thousands of people, and I failed public speaking. I failed it in high school and I was like in all honors classes and whatever and super smart, but I had this terrible phobia like that. I'm not good enough to get up there in front and speak in front of people, right. And then when I took speech class in college because you know, I went to community college yeah, I took speech three times and all three times I dropped it as a class because I was so terrified to get up and speak. What was the light bulb? So it's the people that I've surrounded myself with that have given me confidence to do it. Like I always say, oh, was that okay, or whatever. And you guys lift me up, like you guys literally Bart, you, kim, kristen, like all you guys. You guys, I borrow your confidence, I borrow your belief, that's it. I borrow your belief in me and hold on to it until I can get to that next step.

Speaker 1:

And I think we talked about the circle and the tribe that you surround yourself. That matters more than anything.

Speaker 2:

I agree. Do you think too, it's the more you grow, the more confident you become? The more successful you become, the more your confidence grows, the knowledge that you?

Speaker 1:

Well, absolutely. But I think there's also a catch to that to not become too cocky.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, Great point, Great point. Somebody comes to mind as I'm thinking. Somebody comes to mind where it's like just full of arrogance and I just can't even listen, Just isn't.

Speaker 1:

And you said something, too, though, about like the more that you grow. How do you get through that? Or how do you, where's your confidence come from? I think, every time you sign a listing or you sign a client like, okay, this person believes in me, so the more people that you serve.

Speaker 1:

I mean we've literally sold hundreds of homes over the years, hundreds and hundreds of homes. So I mean that's hundreds of check marks of this person believed in me and I did a good job for them. This person believed in me and I did a good job for them. I think builds on that right.

Speaker 2:

That's true. I didn't think about it that way. That is true.

Speaker 1:

So to recap and to add a few closing statements, I would just say ups and downs are normal. You're going to have ups and downs in your business. Who you surround yourself matters. Who you surround yourself with matters.

Speaker 2:

I love that one.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes it's none of their. I'm going to add in you know recapping, learn to say no, it's none of their damn business. Like I have an appointment, it's okay. Believe in yourself, right.

Speaker 2:

That's huge. If I can give any advice to anybody starting, it's believe in yourself.

Speaker 1:

So all of those things, I think it's none of their damn business. Be okay with just saying no, Go fuck yourself. Look at the big picture and kind of wind it down backward.

Speaker 2:

And I think the reoccurring theme is who's your circle, who's your tribe, who?

Speaker 1:

do you surround yourself with, because you can borrow belief from them when you're having a low moment.

Speaker 2:

It's a really good one today. It's a really good nugget for today.

Speaker 1:

I tell you what I wouldn't have the confidence or the courage to do this podcast if it wasn't for you.

Speaker 2:

Thanks, Well, me neither, for sure. I just knew I wanted to do something.

Speaker 1:

Well, and I want to add, what you started with, is all of you out there subscribing, tuning in, liking and giving us that?

Speaker 2:

feedback Very much so.

Speaker 1:

You've given us a little bit of confidence to keep coming out here and to adding more and more and more. Very much so Because if nobody tuned in, you're like what if nobody watches right?

Speaker 2:

Were you guys there? Did you see my screenshot of the message yesterday when I was like, my cousin reaches out to me and said oh my God, I'm addicted, it's so funny. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever I go, it wasn't dumb.

Speaker 1:

Like did you like it? That's imposter syndrome, right there, see, that's what you had, and so how did you get over that? I sent, and so how did you get over that? I said to you guys. I said look at this, okay, so so there's the evidence right there, it's the circle.

Speaker 1:

Your circle lifts you up. If you don't have good people around you, go find them. Yeah, go find new people. If you don't, if you have people that are dragging you down and not lifting you up, get rid of them and go find I am away with that one. Go find new people go find wait till the last minute to get the best nugget.

Speaker 2:

That was the best nugget. Go find new people Right.

Speaker 1:

Like who you surround yourself matters, and if you don't have people who are lifting you up and you know what Someone sent me here I am rambling now. We're going a little over today. Oh, sorry, guys, but someone posted and they said a woman thing like do you find that women around you lift each other up or are they like, talk behind your back and pull each other down? And I commented on their post, their Facebook post, and I said it depends on your people. If you have the right people, they will lift you up. And I said I know I have the right people around me because when I don't feel have it all in me, you guys lift me up. And when you sent that, we were there to lift you. We lift each other up.

Speaker 1:

And it doesn't just have to be women like. But we do that for the women in our circle. We don't pick each other apart or drag each other down, and I love love that about us, me too so there you go if you don't have the right people go get rid of them go find, new ones go find go find new people and on that note so we good nuggets. I think there were great nuggets today.

Speaker 1:

Nuggets today so we are super excited to bring you these conversations every single week, so make sure you subscribe and follow us. Follow spotify, amazon, iheart radio and now hey, what are we doing next week?

Speaker 2:

are we having a guest? You?

Speaker 1:

know it'll be a surprise, so so don't miss an episode. And um go, let's go do some epic shit.

Speaker 2:

Let's, let's, we're, it's coming, you should do it too. Yep, absolutely peace out.